Tuesday October 20, 2026

I want to understand things more fully. I want to be a sage, but I am way too impulsive for wisdom, to enticed by romantic ideals, by the lastest and greatest and distracted by a good beat. I've also watched way too much television.

LORD,

I'm late. I need to go and do all my things so I can get to work. I don't want to to. I'm tired. I want more out of today than rushing around, trying to keep up. I'm a two-year-old hiding in a 56-year old body. I want to throw a tantrum. I want someone to come into this space and say, "it's OK, you don't have to go anywhere."

No one is coming. The clock is ticking and I have to go and do.

I wish I had more words, the exact right words to capture my feelings, my fears, my deep desires, my love for the kids, the ache I have for them, my work angst, my wanting to do something more, be something more. If I had the words, maybe I could make the change I feel I want.

No words. No change?

It's Tuesday. The most practical of days and so instead of time to sit and contemplate, duty calls, as she always does.

Meet me here. Please see me. Help me be ready for all the noise, the chaos, the pace of today. Be with my precious ones. Thank you for knowing them in ways I never will. Protect them and keep them today. Mold us all and make us into who you intended us to be.

Help. I'm not sure I have the energy for the first step.

Amen.