Tuesday October 13

Let's settle in for a minute shall we?

I think I was in a frenzy yesterday. Actually, I'm certain I was. I don't know how it is avoidable after a time away. You see it coming. You know life will go back to normal. You even know what to expect and then it hits and you run like a crazy woman thinking you can outrun it? Keep up with it? When your eyes pop open at 2:30 am and you are buzzed and ready to go, the silence of the new day finally allows the whisper to be heard: "Hey. You. You're OK. Lay here and chill out for a minute. You are not being chased. Breathe."

Today, hopefully, I have better perspective. Are my wits about me a bit more? I hope so. The world is nuts, crazy, and it moves at a pace I definitely can not keep up with. It feels as if slow and steady is wrong somehow, counterproductive, and I hate people passing me. I'm competitive and hate to lose and it seems as if people smirk when they pass you, but today, I'm going to try to slow it down. I'm going to try a slower pace and try to acknowledge life isn't a race but more of a journey.

LORD,

We went pretty hard yesterday didn't we? I almost feel as if I should apologize. I'm fairly certain I made the decision on how yesterday should go and so I went. And went. And went. I think instead of asking nicely for you to walk alongside me I perhaps was hollering, barking out orders, and simply expecting you to bless me as I went.

I'm sorry.

Please set the pace today. As I am going, remind me of your kingdom priorities. Your way is not my way. Your way has more to do with surrender than conquer. Your way consists of things like comforting, meekness, hungering for what is right and true, a pure heart, and peacemaking. Such good things which I rush by, sometimes smirk at, and most times miss completely. I'm so sorry. I love setting the pace. I even like a bit of conquering. I think I know what's best and when I'm exhausted and miserable I scratch my head and wonder why.

Duh.

This is your day. I have no idea what it will hold, where we'll go, or how we'll get there but thy kingdom come, they will be done.

Here.

Today.

Thank you for loving me.

Amen.