When You Need a Nap

“When old work has become meaningless and new purpose is hard to find, I recommend cleaning baseboards…

The point is to find something that feeds your sense of purpose, and to be willing to look low for that purpose as well as high…Whatever it is perhaps you will hold open the possibility that doing it is one way to learn what it means to become more fully human.” - from ‘An Altar in the World’, Barbara Brown Taylor.

Barbara. How I love me some Barbara. I often reach for her book, ‘An Altar in the World’ and read a chapter before I go to sleep. Her words are soothing and beautiful and seem to somehow make everything ok.

In this chapter Barbara talks about how Jesus was fully human. His humanity was not encased behind his divinity. He was fully human. He was fully divine.

“To be fully one is to be fully the other.” (Barbara)

After all my years I am sure this concept is something I do not fully grasp but surely the story of Jesus calming the storm in Luke 8 is a good example of both his humanity and his divinity.

Jesus and his disciples had been teaching, healing and being with people. A fully human endeavor. So much so that Jesus fell asleep in the back of the boat when they all loaded up to cross to the other side of the lake. Up the storm blows, the disciples freak, and as I picture it, scream Jesus awake. They didn’t want to die!

Jesus rebukes the wind, the storm subsides, and Jesus asks he disciples, “Where is your faith?”.

Completely peopled out and sleeping, fully human. Rebuking the wind and having it listen to you, fully divine.

Right now I’m tired and completely unmotivated. I have been awake for an hour and I already want a nap. I have not showered, have not been to work, haven’t heard all the noise, haven’t chatted with all the people who, in their own way, are a storm.

Aren’t we all?

Work is fine. It’s fine, and honestly it is also dull and tiresome. Is it feeding my sense of purpose? Ummm, nope. I am certain I have more to offer the world than what is spelled out in my job description but looking high and low for my purpose? Where? When? Truth be told if I had extra time I’d take a nap too, just like Jesus did. But I also want to be fully human. Fully alive. I don’t want to be like a hamster on a wheel, going around and around and not getting anywhere. Is that what I’m doing? Is that why I’m so darn tired?

Could I rebuke a people storm? Is that my purpose? To introduce some calm into all the crazy? How about a nap instead? Perhaps sleep is my purpose. I could get behind that. Barbara cleans baseboards. Some people bring calm to all the crazy. I nap.

Lord.

How I long to truly live. To find my purpose. To be fully human. To live an abundant life. To be awake!

Speak to me Lord. Today. In all my ordinary tasks that have become dull and a little lifeless. Speak. Give me faith where mine has dried up and blown away.

Whisper to me of your love and your presence. Remind me you are here. Here in this quiet place. At my desk at work. Amidst all the people and all the crazy. You are here.

Loving me. Guiding me. Using me.

Making the bed, buying groceries, sorting laundry, sitting through a staff meeting.

You are here.

Open me up more fully to you. Wake me up so I don’t miss the miracles.

Give me a good night’s sleep.

Restore me. Calm the storms.

Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.