Saturday Snow

Saturday and it is snowing. And snowing. And snowing.

There will be shoveling today, laundry, a bathroom to clean, and for supper, Greek meatballs with potatoes (here's the recipe: https://www.themediterraneandish.com/baked-greek-meatballs-and-potatoes/ ).

As I sit here, trying to muster up whatever it is I need to step out into today, the past week is swirling around me. All the words, the drama, and frustration I am dealing with at work. I am missing the kids and longing to hold my granddaughter. The headlines scare me. It is shocking to read and hear about all the things going on and I hate feeling utterly and completely powerless over all of it. I try not to watch or listen but it seeps in.

All of it, all the pieces, the snippets, the feelings, are wound and knit up together in something I can't identify. What do I call it? It feels restless, with weariness mixed in, wound up with frustration, longing and perhaps on the top is some what the heck just 'happenedness'.

I think.

Then we have weather, like sprinkles on a cupcake. A storm rolled in on Wednesday and our world shut down. More snow came yesterday afternoon and I had to be strategic about when to leave work to avoid getting caught in the mix of snow, wind, glazed over roads, not to mention diminished visibility. Now today, more snow, maybe freezing rain, but definitely weather advisories saying travel is not advised.

Is the whole world a swirling storm?

Let's pray.

LORD,

What is going on? I don't have words. My feelings are all over the place and I'm weirdly tired after going to bed at 9pm and sleeping until 7:30 this morning.

I need to clean and tend to all things house and I will but I'm asking you to be with me as I build a day out of snow and all the swirl. If something from this past week needs sorted and tended to, lead me to your wisdom and love so I can deal with it properly. If there's a way to see sweet Brielle, I would love it.

Can I find contentment in the swirl? Are you in the restlessness? I want love and reassurance, I want to feel you, but what I'm feeling is more like panic. Why? What is this?

Psalm 44 says,

Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?

Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever...

Rise up and help us:

rescue us because of your unfailing love." (Psalm 44: 23 & 26)

Will you LORD? Awake? Rise up? Rescue? Turn my head? Take my hand? Lead me to love and away from all this swirl?

Today is quiet and snowed in. You like the quiet places, the whisper. Are you here? I want to see you, to feel your hand leading me through all of this. This past week was confusing, frustrating and heavy with work and headlines. Were you in it and through it all? Show me.

Honestly LORD, I am a mess. On so many levels. Yet I also believe I still have a fingerhold on hope. I'm all over the place and I'm nowhere yet I want to trust I am exactly where I need to be. If I'm not, please move me to where you are.

I need you.

My precious ones LORD. Always I lift up my precious ones. Hide them in the shelter of your wings and lead them deeper into you.

Amen.