Friday

Hello Friday. I'm glad you are here. A part of me will not want to leave here. I want to park it right here and look back at the flurry of the days behind me and just breathe.

I made it to Friday! I'm going to catch my breath, sit still, and say thank you. But I can't stay here. Not today. It is after all, Friday.

Fridays are so close but not close enough. Friday's mean I can't park it. Not yet and as proof, I'm working an evening event and so although I get to sit here and sip my tea right now, shortly, oh so shortly, I will have to dive back into the flurry and the chaos and bring my work week to it's proper ending. Tomorrow is Saturday.

But let's not go there quite yet. I've got some time and so right now, I'm standing right here, looking back, and breathing.

The view is good here. Look what I found:

"Your path led through the sea,

your way through the mighty waters,

though your footprints were not seen." (Psalm 77:19).

Being led through a sea, through mighty waters is not something I can truly relate to but being led through scary times, being led to the other side of lies and deceptions I shackle myself to, and being set free, I can completely understand that. What I find in this verse is a reminder of how I am currently being led by God even though his footprints are not seen.

I am a billboard 'pray-er'. A billboard prayer goes something like:

"God. I need help. I don't know what to do or where to go and I'm not super smart or super spiritual. Please. Could you send me a billboard? Like now? If you spoke to me I might not believe it was you, but a billboard would totally work. Could you please personalize it for me to make it easy because we both know I'm not super smart and I'm totally desperate here. Please?"

"NO"!

The only answer I have ever received from my billboard prayers is "NO"!

But then today while parking and breathing there's this?

"you led through the sea.... though your footprints were not seen".

This. I love this.

Okay. Time is running out and I'm going to have to pull out of this parking spot. Let's pray.

Lord,

You are here with me. Right now and always. Life is the mighty waters and you are there leading me through every second of it without a footprint or a billboard. We have already walked through tragedy, fear, anger, disappointment, devastation and disobedience. But you have also led me to community, love, devotion, fierce friendships, complete abandon, and mountains upon mountains of grace and mercy.

Forgive me my pride and selfishness, for thinking I know best and for forgetting you are here. Lead me to more humility, surrender, and trust. I'm not going to lie, it terrifies me to think how we might get to those things. I want them but I don't want them. Not having the lead in my own life just feels wrong, and tragedy? Tragedy is absolutely terrifying. Everyday I fool myself into thinking I know best and my way will keep all my precious ones from harm. I know. I know it 's absolutely non-sensical isn't it? But in the moment, when I'm in the middle of whatever it is, it makes complete sense with the added bonus of feeling comfy and completely satisfying, like my favorite sweatshirt on a chilly night.

I have much to learn. Please Lord.

Keep leading. Of course you'll keep leading. Remind me you are leading. Of course you are leading.

Lead me to a deeper understanding of your love and your faithfulness. Trade in my billboard desires for a certainty of you, who you are, what you are doing, what you've done ,and what you are going to do.

"Your ways God are holy. (Ps. 77:13).

"...with your mighty arm you redeemed your people (Ps. 77:15).

"...the waters saw you and writhed" (Ps. 77:16).

"...your thunder, your lightning, the earth trembled (Ps. 77:18).

Amen.